Spinning and Learning

this post should prove to be a bit more upbeat than last :)

so i dance. i think dancing is great medicine for the soul. i refused to even move my feet to music in my teen years yet one night at church camp, of all places, i decided to truly shake a tail feather to 'come on eileen' and i've not been the same since. i've clubbed all over the world. i actually find it incredibly interesting to examine different countries club cultures and make it a point to hit night life spots when in different countries - i've been to clubs in mexico, all over germany, prague, mumbai, hungary, switzerland, and england. out of all of those, the clubs i visited in acapulco, mx were by far the most elaborate, best music, and overall the best club experiences i've yet to have.

when i was younger, i used to enjoy choreographing dances for my sister and i to perform for our parents. the ones i recall were done to prince's 'batdance', weird al's 'like a surgeon' and a mix of all sorts of songs i cut and pasted together. oh! and baby got back :) i also recall attempting to choreograph some synchronized swimming in our pool as well. in addition to the dancing, i'd also arrange for my sister to sing into our little blue and yellow microphone while i played piano and we scripted out newscasts and commericials to perform as well. we've been little entertainers for a while. i'm now getting off subject.

though i love to dance, i've had no formal introduction to dance aside from participating in a tap dance class when i was 6 or 7. i can now say though, that i'm experiencing some formal introduction.

i was married in march and a month or so before that, my father, who loves to do 'the peguin' dance or spin around like james brown, decided that he was going to take private dance lessons to razzle and dazzle all those in attendance when we did our father daughter dance. he started learning 'west coast swing' at the beginning of the year and apparently now has an addiction. i attended one of his private lessons, learned a bit and completely forgot what i learned promptly after the wedding. recently though, he's started attending group dances of west coast swingers (the dancers, not the partner sharers) at a community center near my home. he asked me to go and i agreed. simple as that. my mother is beyond tired of his dancing and him trying to get her to dance with him which i don't understand at all. at least he's not drinking his arse off and beating her or attending the topless lady establishments in town! all the man wants to do is dance and have his wife dance with him. i see no harm in that. that being said though, my husband isn't all too into the dancing craze either although i have taught him a few steps while our beast of a dog barked at us. i digress.

so two weeks ago, i accompanied my father to the group dance at the community center. we dance in a gym for an hour and pay $4 for the experience. i'm lightyears younger than the rest of the crowd and i wouldn't be suprised to find that one or two of them to be serial killers. i say that lightheartedly and only to accentuate the interesting folk who have left their homes to learn to dance. we are first split into male and female appropriate groups and learn our 1-2-3 and 4 5 and 6 steps and then are partnered with a male. we dance with each man for about 30 seconds and then switch to the next while the instructors pass through and tell us to tighten our arms, watch our feet and so on. what do i have the most trouble with you ask? following. i can't help but lead and that is true for every aspect of my life. i have control issues and want to control it all. it's a bittersweet curse. i love taking responsibility for things but hate that i'm always responsible for something.

in last week's class we learned spins with our partners. i had the hardest time with this. some of the men you dance with are terrible leaders but others teach me more than the instructor does. one in particular last week told me, in the midst of the spinning, to not do any of the work, let the man do all of the work on the spins. and i did. and it was liberating. i got it! i did the spin! but it was more that that, i let go of my control and let someone else take the wheel. it was a small (dance) step for mankind but a huge leap for me. perhaps i can learn to let go of control periodically and can continue to feel that release i felt while spinning.

tonight i will spin some more and will pass under some serial killers arms and i can't wait.