Slowing the Mental Roll

hmm. i don't really have too much to say other than i am doing my best at NOT writing a paper and am discovering so many different ways to procrastinate! blogging would be one of them, obviously :) it's funny, when i'm driving or in the shower or whatever, i'm forever 'blogging' in my head. my thoughts NEVER stop (i find it to be a curse honestly) and i always think to myself that i should blog about whatever it is that i am incessantly obsessing over...and then i sit down to do so, and i don't know what to write. i suppose i can write about that though - the fact that i can't slow my mind.

i'm in the middle of reading Eat, Pray, Love and am in the midst of the section where she is focusing on improving her meditative practices. she speaks about not being able to stop her mind; about how she will sit and meditate while thinking about things. i know exactly what she is talking about. even when i purposely try and slow my mind and not focus on anything, all i do is think more. it drives me batty. i've always been that way though. i'm a bit of an obsessive person in general; some have even attributed ocd to the list of adjectives that could describe me. i'm overly organized, too timely, i think everything through WAY too much, i play with the 'what ifs', and so forth. this type of thinking feeds into my anxiety issues i tend to exhibit as well. another thing i wish SO badly i could control. did i mention i have control issues? ;) i'm full of issues! sometimes i wonder if i'm crazy, honestly. then i realize, i'd be crazy if i wasn't all of these things - this is who i am. so what do i do? what can i do?

years ago, i was hugely into yoga and that proved to be a wonderfully fullfilling activity i partook in but my involvement in that - se fue. (in spanish, when playing with a child and you hide something behind your back and want to say 'where did it go?' you can say 'se fue' literally meaning 'it went'. i love that expression). so with my upcoming graduation in the near future, i have been making a mental list of all of these things i'd like to take up starting in january - german classes (know a lot but have never been formally taught - it's about time :), silver smithing classes, small business classes, and most importantly, yoga. i miss it. i need it. i plan on attending a class tomorrow night if one of my teaching classes doesn't go too late. i'm quite excited about it. i'm excited about slowing my mind down...at least for a couple of hours.