Warning: Stretching May Impregnate You

well, i didn't go to yoga when i had mentioned i would before BUT i did go last night! and it was wonderful. it was a small class at the ymca and i was honestly quite nervous about going! i hadn't been in a few years so i was worried i may be a tad bit rusty, thought everyone may already know everyone and was worried that i may somehow make a fool of myself which is a possibility in any situation i'm apart of. but alas, none of that happened and it was great. the first few minutes, we sat in the dark focusing on breathing. this calms the mind and body and prepares you to be fully aware of your stretches. during this time, i felt several tears run down my face as i was so happy to be there, so happy to be calming myself, so happy to be taking time for me. the smell of my mat brought me back to some very wonderful feelings that i have missed for quite a long time. the sound of the serene music made me miss days past. needless to say, the stretching broke me right back into the swing of things and i will definitely be returning. soon.

on another note, today was the 'food' party where i teach esl. this is an end-of-the-semester event where all of the students and instructors bring homemade food from their native countries and share with everyone. following this is a dancing portion which is always a hoot. yes, i said hoot. the food is AMAZING and there's always enough for an army and a half. this semester, i convinced my mother into joining me which was quite a joy for me to have one of my parents see where i teach and meet my students. i think she quite enjoyed herself and is glad she went. the dancing was especially amusing this semester as a college employee who looked to be about 90 years old, joined the group who was learning a dance set to a hip hop song. there were two instances where i thought i might shat myself i was laughing so hard at her - 1) when everyone 'got low', she got as low as she could too. heelarious. 2) when everyone swiveled their hips around and around and she did as well! i kinda wish i was related to her ;) every semester i attend that event, i reflect upon it and know that i've found what i'm supposed to be doing...it's a great great feeling.

side note to the other note ;) ANOTHER one of my students asked me if i was pregnant today. within this semester THREE of my students from completely different cultures have inquired as to whether or not i'm knocked up! it confuses me so because in my everyday life, people tell me that i look like i've been losing weight left and right but apparently, people from Syria, Columbia and Vietnam take weight loss as a sign of pregnancy???

no, i am not pregnant. thank you very much.

Slowing the Mental Roll

hmm. i don't really have too much to say other than i am doing my best at NOT writing a paper and am discovering so many different ways to procrastinate! blogging would be one of them, obviously :) it's funny, when i'm driving or in the shower or whatever, i'm forever 'blogging' in my head. my thoughts NEVER stop (i find it to be a curse honestly) and i always think to myself that i should blog about whatever it is that i am incessantly obsessing over...and then i sit down to do so, and i don't know what to write. i suppose i can write about that though - the fact that i can't slow my mind.

i'm in the middle of reading Eat, Pray, Love and am in the midst of the section where she is focusing on improving her meditative practices. she speaks about not being able to stop her mind; about how she will sit and meditate while thinking about things. i know exactly what she is talking about. even when i purposely try and slow my mind and not focus on anything, all i do is think more. it drives me batty. i've always been that way though. i'm a bit of an obsessive person in general; some have even attributed ocd to the list of adjectives that could describe me. i'm overly organized, too timely, i think everything through WAY too much, i play with the 'what ifs', and so forth. this type of thinking feeds into my anxiety issues i tend to exhibit as well. another thing i wish SO badly i could control. did i mention i have control issues? ;) i'm full of issues! sometimes i wonder if i'm crazy, honestly. then i realize, i'd be crazy if i wasn't all of these things - this is who i am. so what do i do? what can i do?

years ago, i was hugely into yoga and that proved to be a wonderfully fullfilling activity i partook in but my involvement in that - se fue. (in spanish, when playing with a child and you hide something behind your back and want to say 'where did it go?' you can say 'se fue' literally meaning 'it went'. i love that expression). so with my upcoming graduation in the near future, i have been making a mental list of all of these things i'd like to take up starting in january - german classes (know a lot but have never been formally taught - it's about time :), silver smithing classes, small business classes, and most importantly, yoga. i miss it. i need it. i plan on attending a class tomorrow night if one of my teaching classes doesn't go too late. i'm quite excited about it. i'm excited about slowing my mind down...at least for a couple of hours.